I believe there are many ways of parenting that can make a child successful in life, but there are also ways of parenting that can promote bad behaviors or rebellion. I believe parenting is different for each child because each one takes various punishments and rules differently.
In my opinion, the ideal way parents should raise their children is by letting them learn from their mistakes, while also not allowing them to make life altering mistakes that could ruin their future. This style of parenting is a mix of a tiger mom and jellyfish dad.
A disadvantage of being a tiger mom is pushing a child too far. Too much pressure can lead to increased anxiety or stress; which children of today’s society are exposed to enough. A disadvantage of being a jellyfish dad is that at a young age it is not possible to expect children to make decisions themselves. If some children were not forced to do their homework, they probably would not do it. It is essential to include some components of the tiger mom and jellyfish dad parenting styles, so your child can be successful.
Regarding the helicopter parent approach, I think the more a parent hovers over their child, the more they will have a desire to be rebellious. I have found that my friends who were most sheltered in high school (had a strict curfew, were held to extremely high expectations, and who could not make any decision without their parent’s approval) are the ones who have gone to college and have already made life altering decisions. With that said, being too laid back is not an ideal way to parent either. We have parents because we need them to help us, so it is important to be there for a child when needed.
Another way parents can help their children to be successful is by encouraging them to spend their time doing things that are beyond themselves. Growing up I was encouraged to volunteer my time to help others who were in need. I believe this made a tremendous impact on my life as now I do not take for granted anything that is given to me. Along with volunteer work, I also think if a child has the time they should be get a job when they turn sixteen. There are multiple benefits of this. It teaches them how to save their money, how to use their money wisely, and how to provide for themselves in certain ways. I believe all these things make a successful parenting style.
2 thoughts on “Parenting Styles”
I agree with your statement that being a tiger mom can put too much pressure on a child and leads children to have increased anxiety or stress. To add, there has even been evidence that in tiger parenting families, children are more likely to have depressive symptoms due to all the pressure from their parents. This then leads to decreased GPA, decreased health, decreased social life, and decreased family connection. Tiger parenting also lacks parental involvement which facilitates healthy development and promotes prosocial behavior in children. Although there is evidence that tiger parenting can be too overwhelming for children, research supports the tiger parenting styles of praising a child for the effort they put into things and stressing the importance of practice to children.
I also agree with your statement regarding the disadvantages of the helicopter parenting approach. I would like to add that it has been implicated that children growing up with helicopter parents have lower maturity, lower motivation for schoolwork, and lower communication skills. This ties back to your first statement which states that some parenting styles can promote bad behaviors or rebellion.
I also agree with your idea that parents should be there for their child when needed but also still show high expectations and have rules. This describes the authoritative style of parenting which combines demanding/controlling attribute and accepting/responsive attribute and has shown the best results for children. Lastly, I like how you end your post saying that children should be encouraged to spend their time helping others by volunteering and to also get a job to understand the value of earning things by themselves.
I agree with your points that a balance should be struck between being laid back and strict, with a custom emphasis on each based on the child that is being raised. I particularly remember people that I grew up with that had lax parents developing into people that rarely respected rules or any form of structure. I also can attest that people who grew up with strict parents often tend to go overboard when they are given the freedom of adulthood. However, the most successful individuals in life are often the ones that had a cohesive and supportive parental structure in place when growing up, which allows for a degree of freedom in development while promoting high expectations for the child. However, I must disagree with you on your “helicopter parenting” analysis.
I believe that the term “helicopter parent” can often be misconstrued to its most extreme examples. The suburban mom yelling at the retail worker because her child’s toy/ice cream/ insert McGuffin here broke and she wants a free replacement, the sports dad yelling at his kid’s coach because they won’t play their child enough, or any other stereotype you can think of. However, I firmly believe that the greatest benefit to a child would be to grow up in an environment where the support of the parents is never a doubt in the child’s mind. This goes back to what we learned in class about attachment theory, and how the most confident and successful adults are often the ones who have a strong attachment with their parents. Helicopter parents are the most extreme example of support, but a child should be able to expect that their parents would side with them on most topics. That being said, a supportive parent should also try to convey to their child that the good of the community should be considered with the good of the individual. This is where I go back to agreeing with you, that activities such as the promotion of community service and considering the needs of others before your own is a wonderful way to develop a child into a caring and beneficial citizen. Getting a job when they are young also teaches them the value of hard work and the rewards that can be reaped when you apply effort.
Overall, your analysis is very insightful and thought-provoking on the topic. I believe we merely disagree on the definition of a “helicopter parent.”